While a family is enrolled at Blue Ridge Therapeutic Wilderness, the primary method of communication between a student and their family is through writing letters. The letter-writing process is sometimes met with initial resistance, but many families come to find this form of communication enjoyable and rewarding.
The Power of Letter-Writing in Outdoor Therapy: Strengthening Family Connections Through Reflection and Growth
Sarah James, LPC, LCAS, CAADC
Why Do We Write Letters?
Many families who find themselves in a wilderness therapy setting have come here from a place of crisis–either acute or chronic. Parents have been stuck in a cycle of putting out fires and their teens have been resorting to power struggles and ineffective ways of getting their needs met.
Sometimes, the only thing everyone in the family can agree on is that they don’t like the current status quo. Usually various family members have been trying to change things for years, to no avail.
Taking Space
A period of separation is crucial to allow everyone in the family to hit the pause button on the coping patterns and communication cycles that have been tearing them apart. Everyone in the family gets a chance to exhale, take care of themselves, seek support, and regroup. Each person needs time to ground their nervous system and reorient to the values and goals that guide them.
This separation can be challenging for both the parents and the young person. Many families have never gone more than a few hours between points of communication with one another. Hitting the pause button brings the existing patterns into stark contrast and sparks a wide range of emotions: from panic, to guilt, to relief. When attempting to make any change in life, it is often necessary to experience the opposite side of the spectrum in order to achieve a more comfortable and sustainable middle ground.
Slowing Down in Nature
Meanwhile, the young person is receiving comprehensive support from peers, qualified field instructors, and expert therapists. They are learning to recognize and work through the emotions they are experiencing. They are receiving coaching and psychoeducation on more effective ways to cope and communicate.
They are being exposed to other young people and families who are at varying stages in the process and can offer guidance and wisdom. Parents are also receiving support to do their own work in parallel with their child. It usually doesn’t take long for growth to start emerging in this environment.
Benefits of Letter-Writing
Slowing down.
Practice new skills.
Receive feedback.
Increased honesty and vulnerability.
How to Write a Meaningful Letter
Be honest and direct; refrain from blaming. Be vulnerable and open about your own life, taking emotional risks. Use writing as an opportunity to consolidate your thoughts and be open to the possibility that this format might open up new ways of understanding, both for you and for the letter’s recipient.
Practice something new. Share your feelings, impressions, thoughts, and beliefs. Try using an “I Feel” statement or practice giving feedback assertively. Resist the urge to lecture. Cut out anything that feels like an old pattern.
Ask open-ended and curious questions. This is especially important when you are feeling the urge to lecture, explain, or justify. Try getting curious about the other person’s emotions, thoughts, and beliefs first.
Role model what you want to see in your loved one’s communication. Tell your loved one what YOU are working on. Share about what you are learning from reading, therapy, coaching, or peer support. Take accountability for past missteps or patterns.
Make statements of love, care, and concern for your loved one. Make these statements as specific as possible, trying to show your loved one that you really see them. Everyone is stepping outside their comfort zone during this process. Affirmation and encouragement are crucial to keeping the motivation alive.
In Conclusion
Letter-writing in wilderness therapy is more than just a means of communication—it’s a powerful tool for healing, reflection, and connection. While it may feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable at first, families often find that this process fosters deeper understanding, emotional growth, and meaningful change. By embracing honesty, vulnerability, and curiosity in their letters, parents and students alike can create a foundation for healthier communication patterns that extend far beyond the wilderness experience. Through patience and practice, letter-writing becomes not just a necessity, but a transformative part of the journey toward reconnection and healing.